Gaslighted... again!
"This is a dangerous spot to be in, as it can easily set the groundwork for gaslighting. In my experience, there will always be people who don’t understand you. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you..."
Oh but there is, you see, apparently, I'm superbly unempathetic and I really don't see my own flaws in character and oh my god! I still do the my-way-or-highway thing! In that, I'm dumb, naive, mentally unstable, ill, abnormal because I speak up for NOT widening the rift between family members more than it already has been.
(Oh but I don’t have that right, do I? I’m better off doing my own thing. Sadly, my own thing has become speaking up for what I feel is right...erm, which poses a tiny problem) I have a ton to say and I’ll probably go off on lessons I’m learning from all things around me in a podcast or a well-thought out article in the future, but for now, I want to leave by sharing one of Jordan Peterson’s saying, "Always tell the truth, or at least, don’t lie." I’m really finding it hard to not apply a similar rule to our own family problems and it. goes something like,
"Fix your shit problems, or at least, don't make them worse." OR
"Always say kind things, or at least, stay shut and NOT spew poison."
I understand they're certainly not as catchy as dear Jordan's phrase, but I'm meh as long as they get the point across. Moving on, it really is a relief to now be able to identify when I'm being gaslighted. Bless whoever educated me about it! And then, of course, my refusal of that cousin's proposal in 2016 STILL comes up! 😂 Apparently, I, or rather, my decision to NOT agree w/ my crippled, granddad's desire to hitch his grandkids together regardless of however incompatible they might be is the cause of all our problems.
First, rest the poor soul! Second, about causal arguments? Still building. I do want to say that what they think is the "cause" of all our problems may also have been the "cause" of innumerable blessings that they fail to notice because they're too caught up in said problems. Or worsening them, rather. Actually, just burning in the fire of resentment... That's what's up and I only know what I know. There's still a plethora of things I don't know...yet, but remember how I said I won't stay shut until I feel like I know it all?
Well, this is what that is. This is me speaking for and by myself from where I am today. All said and done! It pains me to see those I love in pain and because emotional pain is also a kind of pain, I don't like to ignore whenever anyone around me starts to inflict psychological harm on themselves by not dealing w/ their triggered feelings of resentment for those who've betrayed them...
and because I do understand them, contrary to what they believe of me, I don't hold being gaslighted by them in those moments of weakness against them. I'm seeing the misery holding onto resentment causes a person and I'd be an idiot to hold onto it in myself. I'm happy enough being aware of all things happening to and for me to be able to be selective about what I let get to me. I'm happy enough w/ that. All the rest is a thing of the past!
Disclaimer: I'm only human as well and please don't falsely assume I don't have the struggles w/ self-management I do just because I don't share them all w/ you. I share the bit I feel like sharing and the gaps'll all be filled in good time...if ever even. About resentment though, although I don't hold on to the negative emotion per se, it's challenging for me to forget the experiences that caused the built up of longed-solved resentment in the first place.
Simple stuff, really 😅
Ain't no one perfect over here.
